Hold to reset

I think I'm just now realizing that things are complicated. That I'm not, and won't ever, live in a fairy tale land where everything is black and white and no in between and people can have 'happily ever after'.

I thought maybe I'd just had a streak of bad luck. And all those things would make me stronger and wiser with time, and I'd look back and wish earlier me would've had more hope.

Streetlights go out when I go by. Is that a bad sign? Every time I've been out at night lately, driving or walking, it gets suddenly very dark. I for sure need to wear my glasses when I'm driving at night now, it's just not safe otherwise. Driving tonight was a generally fuzzydark experience, even without the streetlights going out. At one point I realized I was driving halfway over the yellow line, right in the middle of the road.

Oh, and out walking the dog I saw a figure walking towards me, but there was no one there and I thought at first Jack saw it too. I was so sure someone was there, and as I walked closer I was just trying to make out who it was. I thought it might be Ray but he walks on the street and it was walking on the side of the road.

I have a long, long way to go.