Jade

Today is the first day of Lent. I'm actually going to try to give up sugar, among other things. We'll see how that goes. I'm supposed to go to church at noon, I think I will. I'm getting more anxious about possibly going back to school in September. I'll go to class, I'll even study and do the readings, but please God don't make me write papers. I'm always overwhelmed when I'm faced with having to write something. I agonize over every word, every sentence.

I had a dream about getting a little baby kitty, it was so cute and cuddly and now I want one. Mostly because it would make Ray happy. With my two dogs, a cat in mom's house just wouldn't work out. I want our own home, with only our own things. The apartment wasn't the same because we didn't choose it together, and we knew it was only temporary. A time when we can move out seems so far away.

We may be going to visit my grandmother and father's family in Newfoundland, in May. I haven't seen them in years, and Ray's never met them.

I was always much closer to my Oma, mom's mother. As much as we'd fight, we were abnormally close for a grandmother and grandaughter. I wonder what she'd say now if she was still alive. She always had a lot to say, never held anything back. Often brutally honest, but we loved her. I wonder how she'd get along with Ray. I'd give anything to be able to see them sitting together, talking. I miss her.